Apartment voodoo

"Do you think magic is real?" asks my very anxious client on the phone while I am getting ready for work. "Because I pissed off this voodoo lady by calling her too many times." I have to think about that for a minute. Do I think magic is real? I think that if you believe something is going to happen it is more likely to happen. I also think there are a lot more coincidences in life than one would reasonably expect. "I think sometimes it is," I say carefully. "What if she fucks up my apartment?" he asks. This is just another version of a question he has been asking repeatedly all week, "am I really getting an apartment?" The inspection of the apartment is monday and he should sign the lease soon after that, so the answer, over and over, is "yes, you are getting an apartment." "I don’t think magic works that way," I say. I think it’s more of an essence, less tangible. "I don’t think it can go fuck up your paperwork," "It can’t go fuck up my paperwork," he repeats, reassuring himself. "Yeah if magic worked like that, it would be a lot more popular. It would be more of a Harry Potter world," I tell him. "What if she put a curse on me?" He asks. "A curse has a significant karma kickback, I don’t think someone would do it for something that minor. She was probably just annoyed," I told him. "She said she didn’t want to meet with me today because she doesn’t trust me to respect her boundaries." "That doesn’t even sound like a super angry thing, it just sounds like an I don’t want to work w this person," I explained."She's not going to ruin my life?" "It takes a lot of energy to ruin someone’s life. Someone's not going to waste that energy on something so minor." "Are the spirits pissed off?" "You weren’t calling them all the time." "That’s true." "I doubt the spirits give a damn about this." "How do you know?" "If I was a spirit I would be kind of a bigger picture person," "Yeah." "And if housing got a message from the spirits, they would probably ignore that just like they ignore everything else." Unable to argue with my assessment of the housing dept., the client, reassured, hung up.

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